I’ve been taking a personal development class and was recently challenged to hit the city streets for an unprecedented exercise in patience and generosity. My mission? Hand out 101 quarters to 101 complete strangers. Yes, that’s right, I said give away money. Sounds simple enough, right? I allotted an hour of my day and armed with enough laundry money to do Octomom’s washing for a month, I headed off to one of the busiest shopping centers in L. A. to hit up the lunchtime crowd. As you might imagine people were skeptical. Surprisingly, I think it’s safe to say that at least 35% of the people I approached completely rejected my attempt to give them money. Yep, you got it, people completely turned down FREE money.

As difficult as this was becoming, I was determined to give away every last quarter. I had something to prove. And just when I thought I was getting the hang of it: enter mall security. I was informed that it is strictly against Westfield Shopping Town policy to distribute free money on mall property. Of course, being the obedient citizen that I am, I smiled, nodded in agreement and then nonchalantly slipped a quarter into the security guard’s vest. She was not amused. She immediately gave the coin back and I was asked to leave.

With dampened spirits and mixed emotions, I decided to continue my exercise, but this time on ‘public’ property. Thankfully, nobody called the police and, with my typical persistence (AKA, stubbornness) I finished the job. Mission Accomplished.

As I drove home, thinking about what I had encountered in my humble attempt to give selflessly, without agenda or expectation, I began to get a little emotional and decided to journal my conclusions here:

1. People are sheep. Surprised? Yeah, me neither. Those I encountered were always much more willing to accept my gift when they saw others first accepting for themselves. Why must we need to feel the validation of others before we are willing to accept the kindness of a stranger? Are we too proud? Too independent? Too disconnected?
2. Dealing with rejection is hard. Especially for me. Strangely enough, it even hurt when complete strangers wouldn’t accept my generosity. I suppose I still have a thing or two to learn about myself.
3. Being ignored is harder. Many people didn’t even give me the respect of a fellow human being. I’m not sure if they were offended that I would offer them a simple quarter (how DARE I!) or if they thought it was a new sales tactic, but to completely ignore me, as if I didn’t even exist was, honestly, quite painful. It made me angry, actually, as I walked beside them with my arm extended, not wanting to take, but rather wanting to give. And to be treated as if I were invisible? Rather than getting upset, I chose to tell everyone I spoke to (or spoke “at”, as the case may be) “have a great day!” and to mean it as much as I possibly could.

While there were indeed a lot of uncomfortable moments during this exercise, there were also some very positive, pleasant experiences as well. Several people accepted my gift, no questions asked. Some even said thank you and smiled warmly. Those who accepted but said nothing were immediately given a “thank you” to which I was usually told “you’re welcome” in return. Believe me, by quarter number 96 I truly was thankful when someone would take one of the damn things off my hands!

If the tables were turned, I’m not so sure I would have acted differently than the 35% who didn’t accept my generosity. What about you, would you have have taken the quarter?