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4 Small Steps to Making Big Decisions

September 9th, 2011

Some people are great at making decisions. It’s like it’s in their DNA. I, unfortunately, decisionswasn’t born with any of that DNA — not even a shred :-). I remember going to a Mexican restaurant in Oklahoma with my grandparents when I was about 7 years old and being asked to choose something to eat from the menu.  I was absolutely overwhelmed by the task. “Do I get a taco, or a tostada?” I thought. “… but wait, I love taco salads, or I could get a burrito… or maybe a taco anda burrito…” Even making a simple decision about what to eat for lunch was very stressful for me.

That was a long time ago, but through the years it hasn’t really gotten much easier. To this day it’s still challenging for me to order off a restaurant menu. When I’m faced with choices that I view as being “even bigger” though, it can take weeks or even months to make a final decision.

Two weeks ago, my 1997 Mazda Miata overheated and started running really rough. I pulled over and saw water streaming out of the engine and right there I decided I was going to drop the car off at the first auto repair shop I came to: “Dad and Me Auto”. I dropped the keys and my phone number in their mail slot and took the bus home. I got a call the next day from Eugene, the shop owner, with the news: “You’ve got a busted head gasket and maybe a cracked head. It will cost at least $1,100.” Unsure of what to do, I decided to sleep on it.

That same day I started asking everyone who knows anything about cars their opinion. Each time I thought I had made a final decision about what to do, something else I hadn’t thought of would come up and change my mind. I created cost estimate estimate spreadsheets, meditated on it, prayed about it and finally, today, I decided to act on it. I jumped on the bus and headed back over to “Dad and Me,” determined to pay for the diagnostic work on my car and to take it to my friend’s mechanic who quoted me $2,600 to install a used engine. Was I completely convinced that this was the best decision? Not really, but I was completely convinced that it was time to do something.

And then I was hit with another curve ball. When I arrived at the shop and told Eugene what I had decided to do, he offered me an even better deal: $2,500 to install a brand-new engine! My intuition had always told me that Eugene was a good guy, and so, my decision was final.

I can’t wait to be cruising to the beach with the top down in my ‘new’ car! This whole situation has been really enlightening. The next time I’m confronted with a “really big” decision I’m going to try to remember:

  1. Consider all the options; know there are more.
    No matter what the circumstances, there are always, always, always, always possibilities that we will never consider. As unlikely as it may seem, the options really are always limitless.
  2. Open up; communicate.
    Rather than confronting the situation head-on, I avoided certain phone calls and delayed returning others while I gave myself more time to decide. Two weeks could have been shortened to two days if I had been open to communication from the start.
  3. Don’t try to “figure it all out.”
    In the end, the best solution to my problem was something I had never even considered — and that’s how it usually is.
  4. Do something
    … even if you’re not 100% convinced that it’s the “right” something. A moment or two of reflection is always appropriate, but then, it’s time to move. I got on the bus.

As for my problem with ordering at restaurants, I still don’t have a solution for that, but if you have any suggestions, I’m all ears!

Ryan

2 Comments on “4 Small Steps to Making Big Decisions”

  1. NewYearNewLeaf says:

    I’m a firm believer in the fact that “You are not alone!”. We are a collective. While knowing the general direction we want our decisions to take us is ideal, you are right in the fact that we as individuals do not know all the options or all the various possibilities. So, ask for help. This is very much in alignment with praying, meditating or sleeping on it but turning to the guy next to you and literally asking is the next step up from that. If the person you are with is someone trusted, has a good track record on whatever the subject is, then give their answer some weight. Lets take the food example, you kind of know what you want…the guy next to you has good taste, has been there before and eats like you do…HAVE WHATS HE’S HAVING!! OR, you see three things on the Menu that you kind of like…ASK THE WAITER! Based on his personal taste or what the crowd pleaser is: “What’s the better choice of the three?” So long as one is flexible and open to new solutions and new possibilities, then I think this will rarely if ever steer a person in the wrong direction. The people in your circle of life are all going down the same path together, some are just a little ahead of others. If you can trust in them and let go of yourself just a little, then I believe new doors and new possibilities open up to make your life and your decisions just a bit easier.

  2. Ryan Ray says:

    Great suggestions, NewYearNewLeaf! Thanks for posting your thoughts and experience!

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