I’ve been taking a personal development class and was recently challenged to hit the city streets for an unprecedented exercise in patience and generosity. My mission? Hand out 101 quarters to 101 complete strangers. Yes, that’s right, I said give away money. Sounds simple enough, right? I allotted an hour of my day and armed with enough laundry money to do Octomom’s washing for a month, I headed off to one of the busiest shopping centers in L. A. to hit up the lunchtime crowd. As you might imagine people were skeptical. Surprisingly, I think it’s safe to say that at least 35% of the people I approached completely rejected my attempt to give them money. Yep, you got it, people completely turned down FREE money.
As difficult as this was becoming, I was determined to give away every last quarter. I had something to prove. And just when I thought I was getting the hang of it: enter mall security. I was informed that it is strictly against Westfield Shopping Town policy to distribute free money on mall property. Of course, being the obedient citizen that I am, I smiled, nodded in agreement and then nonchalantly slipped a quarter into the security guard’s vest. She was not amused. She immediately gave the coin back and I was asked to leave.
With dampened spirits and mixed emotions, I decided to continue my exercise, but this time on ‘public’ property. Thankfully, nobody called the police and, with my typical persistence (AKA, stubbornness) I finished the job. Mission Accomplished.
As I drove home, thinking about what I had encountered in my humble attempt to give selflessly, without agenda or expectation, I began to get a little emotional and decided to journal my conclusions here:
People are sheep. Surprised? Yeah, me neither. Those I encountered were always much more willing to accept my gift when they saw others first accepting for themselves. Why must we need to feel the validation of others before we are willing to accept the kindness of a stranger? Are we too proud? Too independent? Too disconnected?
Dealing with rejection is hard. Especially for me. Strangely enough, it even hurt when complete strangers wouldn’t accept my generosity. I suppose I still have a thing or two to learn about myself.
Being ignored is harder. Many people didn’t even give me the respect of a fellow human being. I’m not sure if they were offended that I would offer them a simple quarter (how DARE I!) or if they thought it was a new sales tactic, but to completely ignore me, as if I didn’t even exist was, honestly, quite painful. It made me angry, actually, as I walked beside them with my arm extended, not wanting to take, but rather wanting to give. And to be treated as if I were invisible? Rather than getting upset, I chose to tell everyone I spoke to (or spoke “at”, as the case may be) “have a great day!” and to mean it as much as I possibly could.
While there were indeed a lot of uncomfortable moments during this exercise, there were also some very positive, pleasant experiences as well. Several people accepted my gift, no questions asked. Some even said thank you and smiled warmly. Those who accepted but said nothing were immediately given a “thank you” to which I was usually told “you’re welcome” in return. Believe me, by quarter number 96 I truly was thankful when someone would take one of the damn things off my hands!
If the tables were turned, I’m not so sure I would have acted differently than the 35% who didn’t accept my generosity. What about you, would you have have taken the quarter?
Tonight as I waited for the “walk” sign to cross the busy 6-lane street near my home here in Los Angeles, I chuckled as I remembered my recent trip to Egypt. Have you ever played the classic Atari game Frogger?
Crossing the street in Cairo (even when not wearing high-heels and balancing a package on your head) can be a challenge. For the less adventurous, it may even be impossible. There are no crosswalks, no traffic lights, and a never ending stream of moving objects in between you and your destination.
As the light changed and I made my way across the LA street quite effortlessly, I realized an interesting correlation exists between crossing the street in Cairo and accomplishing just about any major goal you set for yourself. Your success in either task has everything to do with your understanding and execution of five key points:
Be Confident; Be Brave. Courage is obviously vitally important. You have to believe in yourself and your destination has to be important enough to warrant the risk you’re about to take.
Don’t Hesitate to Take the First Step. If you hesitate to take your first step, you’ll miss a narrow window of opportunity. The more times you hesitate, the harder it becomes to take that first step and eventually you may find yourself paralyzed by fear.
Focus on your Goal and on the Present. What would happen if you just bolted straight toward your goal without taking into account your current surroundings? Yeah, disaster! Though you’re always aware of your final destination, your life literally depends on your staying focused on the present moment.
Plan your Route One Step at a Time. Though the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, as unpredictable as human behavior is, there is no possible way to calculate your exact route in advance. You’ll have to rely on your intuition and level-headed decision making to arrive safely.
Keep Moving! Newton’s first law of physics tells us that a body in motion tends to stay in motion. If you can’t go forward, go sideways. The angle of your approach may change but as long as you just keep moving you will always reach your destination.
Eventually, I figured out how to get around Cairo on my own. That’s not to say the first time I crossed the street it was a piece of cake, it absolutely wasn’t. To learn, I actually had to begin by crossing with a local guide — or rather, a human shield! But the more times I did cross, the easier and easier it became.
With the help of your own guide, or mentor, and the steps above, even the biggest most difficult ’streets’ of life will become manageable. Now all you have to do is choose your destination.
For almost an entire year now, unemployment rates around the world have been rising. If you’re not already unemployed yourself, you probably know someone else who is. Yes, it may seem like we’re in ‘economic purgatory’ but don’t let that stop you from reaching for your goals!
When circumstances beyond your control leave you feeling helpless and hopeless, break the cycle! Instead of wasting away in front of the computer, get back on track by taking care of your body and making the most of your time. If you’re looking for work, spend an hour or so each day searching and then, disconnect. Your most important mission, should you choose to accept it, is: Find Joy. Here are some tips to help you along your way.
Don’t Obsess. If you are on the hunt for a job, you’ll almost always be more productive searching for work for a short time, than if you obsess over it all day long. In a frenzied state you’ll no doubt make more spelling errors and bad judgement calls than you would have if you were calm and centered.
Eat Healthier. With all that extra time on your hands, why not take a break from your fast-food diet and cook yourself a healthy lunch? Especially when we’re stressed out, our immune system deserves to be pampered! Getting into the kitchen will help take your mind off your worries and bring you back into the present moment.
Get Out. Take advantage of your free time to do everything you always dreamed of doing when you were stuck behind a desk or punching a time card. Take the dog for a walk, have a picnic at the beach or toss in a Frisbee and some new friends and do both! Not only is it great exercise but it could turn out to be a great way to network too.
Have you ever heard Albert Einstein’s quote “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”? If that’s true then there’s no question that we’ve all been a bit insane at one time or another. Today I realized that I’ve been slowly going insane over the past several weeks and decided it was time to put a stop to the madness.
On my way home tonight I got lost. Not by accident though, no, completely by choice. It was almost 1:00 AM when I exited the 710 freeway, turned onto an unknown street and ventured in the general direction of home. If you live in Los Angeles you might think what I did was a little crazy given that it isn’t usually a smart idea to drive through unfamiliar neighborhoods after dark. Sure, at any moment during my mini-adventure I could have picked up my GPS enabled cell phone and been directed immediately back to safe and boring familiarity, and you know what, it was tempting. But I was in no hurry and in no immediate danger, so I decided to take each turn in stride and just do whatever felt right.
Though it was relatively short-lived, in that 20 minutes of uncertainty I experienced a mixture of emotions, from fear and panic to laughter and reassurance. At one point I even discovered a very large, beautiful Buddhist Temple I never knew existed, the “Ming YA Buddhist Foundation.” Most importantly, my detour brought back the feeling of being alive that I’ve been missing lately and reminded me of how easy it can be to find our way even when we’re feeling a little lost.
It sure felt good to trust my instincts and try something new tonight. Stepping outside my comfort zone was such a great way to exercise my intuitive muscles and help me live in the present moment. I’m looking forward to sharing with you many more of these experiences over the next few months.
What if everyone who spent their time at a meaningless “job” suddenly found themselves filling their days with “meaningful work” instead. What if this work were so meaningful, so personally satisfying, that the reward and true motivation for getting up in the morning were no longer money, but rather the satisfaction of doing the work itself and the resulting feelings of joy.
As I was eating dinner tonight I caught a glimpse of this very foreign world and I imagined for a moment what it might be like to live in a society as complex as ours, built not on the principles of economics, but on the principles of love. Sure, it sounds very utopistic, but what if everyone were doing their “life’s work”, what if we were all being that person we were born to be? Could a society like ours actually function? At first I began to think that some tasks, like the mass transport of goods and raw materials, would be just too boring to be loved by anyone. But then I remembered that of one of my best friends who is a truck driver swears that she loves her work so much that she’d even do it for free!
Would you work for free? If the true value you find in your job is mostly monetary, then you are being robbed. While feelings of emotional fulfillment and joy can’t be bought, they can be earned. Start exploring your passion today by asking yourself, “what kind of ‘work’ would I do for free?”
Though I never understood exactly how or why, from a very early age I knew I wanted to be my own boss. Over the years in my search for the ‘perfect’ business I tried to accomplish this goal in a number of ways: stuffing envelopes, buying vending machines and freelance designing among others. Unfortunately, none of these ventures lasted very long. But why?
Eureka! I had figured it out. In all the businesses I had attempted in the past my only motivation was money. When the green stuff didn’t appear as easily or as soon as I had liked, I dropped the idea and went back to work for someone else. What I needed was something that would transcend my desire for money - something like.. fun! And so, in 2007 my best friend and I dipped our toes into the fun business as producers and promoters of nightlife events.
One year and one successful event later, as impossible as it had once seemed, the party people were sick of partying. What was once fun had turned into a dreaded chore and our core motivation was lost.
It was then that I began to realize that real success must be driven by something more valuable than money and something even more enduring than fun. Real success is driven by a deep-seated and meaningful core motivation. It’s a very personal thing which is many times inspired by our life’s greatest challenges. Find your core motivation and you will find your purpose.
“A vision without a task is just a dream, a task without a vision is drudgery, but a vision with a task is the hope of the world.” –Unknown
The Apple store in the 1970’s era Glendale Galleria mall was opened in 2001. Less than 9 months ago a brand new, upscale shopping center, The Americana, opened right next door.
On my way to the Apple store in the Galleria today to buy some new headphones for my iPhone I thought, “What a shame that Apple didn’t wait just a few more years and open their store at the much more upscale Americana instead.”
Then I realized, had Apple waited, they would have lost the hundreds of thousands of dollars of revenue that they have earned through their store in the Galleria over the last several years. While their decision to open the mall store was surely a sound business decision based on several market studies, from a perfectionist’s perspective it seems flawed that the store isn’t part of the fancy new shopping center. The reality of it is that the store is beautifully decorated, centrally located, and no doubt very profitable – albeit, I.M.H.O., imperfect!
The moral of the story is: don’t miss out on the gifts of today waiting for the ‘perfect’ opportunity of tomorrow.
Remember that scene in The Matrix where Neo and his team are frantically searching for an ‘exit’ from the Matrix when suddenly a brick wall appears out of nowhere blocking their path? Well, I had a similar experience today at the mall.
I parked my motorcycle, as I always do, in a “No Parking” zone right by the front door, knowing that I would be in and out in a flash, went up the escalator to the second floor, took care of my business, and when I returned to the down escalator I had hit my brick wall. Though the escalator was still running, strangely, it had been roped off and blocked by a potted plant both at the top and the bottom. There was no work being done, it was just blocked. I wasn’t irritated, just a bit confused and disoriented; I tend to get lost the moment I walk into any shopping mall even when there aren’t obstacles blocking my path!
As I began searching for another way down and out, I began to realize that this slight shift in the sequence of events could have literally changed the course of my life’s history. Who knows what good (or bad) could have (or not have) come had I immediately left down that escalator. There’s no way to know. What I do know is that during the extra 120 seconds it took me to exit the mall a beautiful Lamborghini Spider was pulling up outside my house and got the chance to drool over it for a few seconds just as I was arriving home.
I’ve been taking a personal development class and was recently challenged to hit the city streets for an unprecedented exercise in patience and generosity. My mission? Hand out 101 quarters to 101 complete strangers. Yes, that’s right, I said give away money. Sounds simple enough, right? I allotted an hour of my day and armed with enough laundry money to do Octomom’s washing for a month, I headed off to one of the busiest shopping centers in L. A. to hit up the lunchtime crowd. As you might imagine people were skeptical. Surprisingly, I think it’s safe to say that at least 35% of the people I approached completely rejected my attempt to give them money. Yep, you got it, people completely turned down FREE money.
What if everyone who spent their time at a meaningless “job” suddenly found themselves filling their days with “meaningful work” instead. What if this work were so meaningful, so personally satisfying, that the reward and true motivation for getting up in the morning were no longer money, but rather the satisfaction of doing the work itself and the resulting feelings of joy.
The Apple store in the 1970’s era 
Remember that scene in The Matrix where Neo and his team are frantically searching for an ‘exit’ from the Matrix when suddenly a brick wall appears out of nowhere blocking their path? Well, I had a similar experience today at the mall.
